Heart of Sorrow
by AnnonamasWriter
Summary: "Fill your heart not with pain and sorrow, but remember me in every tommorow." Haggar has reclaimed the Champion, and promises to make him pay for leaving. Between PTSD, torture, and almost going insane, will the Black Paledin ever return to Voltron? (Sorry about this really bad summary, but the books good. I promise!)
1. Pain and Grief

**Pain and Grief **

He screamed. The sound pierced the darkness like a knife, the walls of the cell echoing the noise back at him, jaring him from sleep.

The first thing he noticed as he opened his eyes was the harsh purple light. That alone was enough to make his breath speed up, his heart beat double time. _Purple means nothing, purple means nothing_ he thinks over and over again, willing it to be true, **needing **it to be true. But it's not. Purple means Galra. Galra means fear. Pain. Suffering. He's gasping now, his lungs aching for air, air they can't get. He can't breath. His heart spends up, slows down, speeds up again. Black crowds the edges of his vision, and he doesn't resist when unconsciousness claims him.

He awakes to the sound of heavy footsteps making their way to his cell. Immediately he's awakes, and scrambling to the far corner, putting as much distance between himself and the for as possible. Like a caged animal. The footsteps stop, and the door opens soundlessly, spilling light into the small space. Illuminated is a small, cloaked figure. At first glance she appears to be an old, feeble women, but the raw power that radiates off her makes him tremble.

"Haggar," her druids rush forward, grabbing his arm, forcing him to stand. Haggar smiles.

"Welcome back Champion."


	2. Hurt

**Hurt **

The strapped him to a cold metal table, then left. Him and Haggar are alone. He can barely contain a whimper. _Must stay strong. _

"Now, I will ask the question. Corporation is rewarded. Holding out will be punished." Her voice is calm, controlled, and it makes him wish hell would just hurry up and claim him. But still he fights.

"No!" it's all he can manage, he can barely breath, can't light up his arm…

"Yes. If you want to avoid the pain." He can't see her smile, but he can hear it in her words. She relishes causing pain. Thrives from it. The questions start.

"Where is Voltron?"

"No," she zaps him, a bolt of pure energy. His muscles spasm uncontrollably, sparks dance along his skin, and he howls. He just howls. She waits until the sparks fizzle out, his howls slow and stop, to be replaced by heavy panting.

"How do you track the lions?"

"No,"

Another bolt.

"What is Voltron weakness?"

"No,"

More pain.

"What is the Castle of Lions weakness?"

"N-no,"

He can barely speak. He's about to pass out. _This gives a whole new meaning to the words 'fight pain with more pain'. _He can't focus on anything but that thought. He try to laugh, but the sound that comes out of his mouth is somewhere between a gurgle and a choke. The noise pulls him back to reality. _I'm going insane. _He feels a bit of relief at the realization. If he's crazy he wouldn't feel pain. He doesn't realise that Haggars still there until she speaks.

"What is the secret to piloting the Black Lion?"

"Never"

She bares down on him, her eyes gleaming with barely suppressed anger. Her hand connects to his leg, breaking it with a clean snap. At first he doesn't even register the pain. Then it hits him like a wave.

Haggar smiles as the screams wash over her, like a gentle breeze on a hot day. _The Champions already almost broken. I just have to finish the job. _She will feast off his pain today.

He's not sure how long the questions go on. His body is on fire, but he never passes out. Every time he's on the brink of unconscious, Haggar digs her fingers into the break between his bones. The pain spikes behind his eyes, just enough to keep him from passing out. He wishes she would just kill him. End it all.

Finally they drag him back to his cell. As soon as the druids release him, he crumpled to the floor, shaking, sobbing. _Voltron..._a black void claims him.


	3. Relief

**Relief **

He barely registered the shaking. Didn't twitch a muscle as the cell door opened, didn't respond when some called his name.

"Shiro!" Keith ran towards him, Lance and Hunk following him. Still Shiro didn't move. Keith dropped to his knees next to him.

"The fuck have they done to him?" Keith's voice trembled. "W-we have to get him out of here!" Lance nodded and helped Keith lift Shiro who grunted from pain. The journey to the Castle of Lions was a blur. All he knew for certain was that Keith never left his side. He should of felt something. Comfort, safety, **something**. But all he felt was fear. After a while, Lance suggested that they put Shiro under. Keith agreed immediately. They started to put the needle in his arm. Shiro screamed. _Metal table, Haggar, pain. _He lit up his arm, lashing out and whoever was closer. He hit Lance in the stomach burning a big gash of flash. Hunk grabbed Lance as he fell forward, a look of shock and fear on his face. Keith summoned his Bayard, and with a neat slice cut Shiro's prosthetic off. The fear on his face was comical. Shiro laughed. And slumped forward in his chair.

Keith piloted the rest of the way. Hunk sat with Shiro. He stayed passed out for the rest of the trip. Still they tied him up. Just to be safe. When they got to the Castle Lance was as pale as a sheet of paper. They hurriedly got both him and Shiro to the healing pods. Allura was completely shocked at the sight of them. Lance looked like a human smore, smoking and burned. Shiro was a mess, hair tangled, day old blood caked on him, wires sparking were his arm once was.

"We must get them to the healing pods immediately." Keith and Hunk nodded, and carried them over. There was a hissing sound as the pods activated. Then silence.


	4. Every Tomorrow

**Every Tomorrow**

It had been weeks since Keith, Hunk, and Lance rescued Shiro. Lances stomach was healed, and Shiro was back on his feet. Only little things remained to remind the Paladins' about what he had been through. A weird reaction to purple light. Headaches. The fear of needles, and being put under. The nightmares. Most of this had been happening for a long time, but had gotten stronger. So much so that Keith was almost afraid to leave Shiro alone. Almost. At Shiro persistence he kept his distance, but Keith remained every watchful. He wouldn't let Shiro get hurt. Not if he could help it.

After sometime, Keith began to develop a feeling. He assumed -correctly- that the feeling was a result of his constant worrying over Shiro. The feeling was like a sixth sense. It told him when something was wrong, out of place, or generally concerning. It was that feeling that woke him up in the middle of the night, propelled him out of bed, and through the corridors to Shiro's room. There was a strip of light under his door. _What is Shiro doing up so late_? Keith's immediate reaction was to worry. It hadn't always been this way, only recently. After Shiro was captured. A muffled gasp catches his attention, pulling him from his concern. Keith opens the door, not even bothering to knock.

**(The point of view will be ping-ponging between Keith and Shiro. **Shiro=this, Keith=this**)**

He doesn't notice Keith come in. His heart is racing, head pounding, breath-. He can't breath. Keith runs to the bed. Shiro is sitting there, soaked in sweat, gasping for breath. He starts to panic. _Shiros not breathing- what do you do when someone's not breathing- god why didn't I come sooner- dammit why am I so useless… _Help. Help me. Keith realised that Shiro needed help. But he didn't know what to do. So he just repeated the same line over and over. Trying to calm himself as well as Shiro.

"It's ok. Everything will be ok." He hears someone speaking. He can't hear what there saying but it comforts him. Keith notices that the wild fear in Shiro's eyes is fading. Slowly but surely. He keeps talking.

"It will be ok. It's fine. Your safe." _It's ok. I'm safe._ _But the Galra… there is no Galra. _Shiro sees Keith sitting next to him. A look of terror on his face, immediately Shiro thinks he did something.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean…" Kieth blows up. Shiro almost died, he couldn't **breath, **and he's apologising to **me**.

"Dammit Shiro why are you so stupid!?"

"Keith… I'm sorry… you can go…" Shiro's pink with embarrassment. Keith saw him having a panic attack. _Why am I so stupid?!_

"Why would I go?"

"Its late, and you don't have to pretend to care." Keith honestly couldn't understand why Shiro was being so oblivious about this.

"First of all, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me whats going on. Second, I do care. I'm not pretending." Shiro was amazed.

"Fine. I'll tell you, then you can leave."

"Ok." What Keith didn't tell Shiro was that he had no intention of leaving.

"As I assume you know, I have PTSD. That means that I also have panic attacks and nightmares." Keith was nodding as Shiro listed the results of his PTSD. He still didn't realize that what Shiro had just experienced was a panic attack. Shiro couldn't believe how well Keith was taking this. He honestly expected him to freak out.

"So, what I just had was a panic attack after a nightmare." Now Keith put it together. And he did freak out. Just not in the way Shiro expected.

"Was this the first time you've had a panic attack like that?" Keith expected Shiro to say yes. He was wrong.

"No."

"You mean to tell me that this happens regularly?!"

"Yes." Shiro spoke quietly, ashamed.

"And you've told no one?" Keith answered himself. "Of course you haven't." Shiro just continued to look ashamed, staring silently at the blanket.

"Listen Shiro, you can't just keep things like this to yourself. You can **die**." Keith did his best to sound calm, but his voice came out high pitched and squeaky.

"I-I didn't want to burden you guys. You have enough to worry about without me adding to your problems."

"Shiro, really? After all we've been through, you still think your a burden?" Keith put a hand on his friends back, not believing what he's hearing. Shiro only nodded.

"You are not a burden. You never have and you never will be. Ok?" Shiro leaned into Keith, letting himself relax. He felt so light, but so grounded at the same time. It felt wonderful.

"You promise?" Shiro didn't care that it sounded kiddish.

"Yes. I promise on yesterday, today, and every tomorrow." Shiro smiled and years worth of tension lifted from his shoulders. _Yesterday, today, and every tomorrow. _


	5. Heart of Sorrow

Fill your heart not with pain and sorrow,  
but remember me in every tomorrow.  
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,  
I've only gone to rest a little while.

Although my leaving causes pain and grief,  
my going has eased my hurt and given me relief.

So dry your eyes and remember me  
not as I am now, but as I use to be.

Because I will remember you all and look on with a smile,  
Understand, in your hearts, I've only gone to rest a little while.  
As long as I have the love of each of you,  
I can live my life in the hearts of all of you.


	6. A Short Message From The Author

Hi. I just wanted to thank everyone who posted comments or know me in real life and told me to FINISH YOUR STORY. Also, I'd like wish a happy birthday to a friend of mine whose birthday was the 27. If you want to wish him a happy birthday, plz leave it as a review, and I'll forward it to him. Anyway, I have to finish my other story called Voltron:A New Beginning. After that though, I have no idea what to make a fanfic on. If you have any ideas, plz let me know. Once again, thank! I hope you enjoyed Heart of Sorrow!


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